


Steamed Hams And Really Tense Skinners

by CannedTins



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Gen, Humorous, Steamed Hams, vomit tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:03:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13500518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannedTins/pseuds/CannedTins
Summary: Chalmers visits Principal Skinner again for a discussion on steamed hams. It doesn't go well.





	Steamed Hams And Really Tense Skinners

Steamed hams. That was the first time superintendent Chalmers visited Skinner, and now would be his second. It took him all of 160 seconds to realize that those really were Krusty Burgers, and that there was no Aurora Borealis located entirely within his kitchen at all, in fact, Skinner's house appeared to be on fire. Principal Skinner made no mention at all of the "steamed hams" fiasco and pretended that it really was just a normal over-lunch meeting with his boss, but Chalmers knew better. He'd asked Skinner again about those "steamed hams" to which the increasingly agitated principal responded via defenestration. 

When Chalmers drove up to the house, he was surprised to see that it was just as pleasant as ever and looked like there had been no fire once. He recalled weird things like this happened on a near-daily basis, however, which seemed suspicious. Why did that little Simpson boy never seem to grow up? 

Anyhow, he went to knock on the door but found himself knocking on Skinner's' nose instead. Clad in nothing but a towel and the neck brace he had been given after the escape attempt, Seymour Skinner looked incredibly unprofessional. Perhaps that was a given, but showing up to your boss in only a bath towel and a reminder of your own stupidity? He should have thought better. Skinner fumbled with his towel and tried his best to remain as formal as he could. It didn't work very well.

"So, uh. I was expecting you."

Chalmers looked him up and down, but perhaps more down, "I...can see that."

Skinner let him in, and offered a seat, while the principal himself retreated to his bathroom to dress up. In the meanwhile, Chalmers looked around the house briefly from his seat. Looked much the same. Seymour Skinner was a clean man, seemed like, even if he didn't appear so during school. He'd come to discuss "steamed hams" yet again with the principal, but disguised it as a general meeting to see how he was faring after flying out of the window at top speed. Skinner came back from the bathroom wearing much more presentable clothes, also looking less nervous than before, taking his own seat on the chair.

"So, how have you been?"

"G-good."

"Mmhm. No lunch today?"

Here, Skinner faltered, "Er, not yet. I don't have much of an appetite right now."

"...Really? Not even for steamed hams?" Chalmers squinted.  
"S-steamed what?"

"Steamed hams, Seymour."

Skinner immediately vomited. It was going to be a long day.


End file.
